EXPOSED! The Notorious Essence of Greg Funka

Meet Mr. Greg Funka, the style extraordinaire of North Allegheny Intermediate. On a given day Mr. Funka can be seen sporting his signature fresh fade, his famous sandals, his trademark (sometimes oversized) pants, paired with a belt and a plaid shirt.

The Notorious Mr. Greg Funka
Mia Simmons

NAEye: Where do you buy your trademark pants?

Mr. Funka: Wherever they’re cheapest. My general rule is $15 or less.

NAEye: How many pairs of pants do you own?

Mr. Funka: I own 4 pairs of pants, which is more than I usually own in a given school year.

NAEye: Where do you buy all of your plaid from?

Mr. Funka: Eddie Bauer, because they have tall sizes and good sales- and again, as cheap as humanly possible.

NAEye: What brand are the famous sandals of Mr. Funka and where do you buy them?

Mr. Funka: I don’t know, I think they are Tevas. It’s been a long time since I bought them, although there is another pair sitting in the house in case these ones wear out… or blow up in front of the classroom again. I caught my foot on the floor one day and they just burst open. They’re now held together with super glue.

Sandals are comfy, they make the toes happy and nobody has told me we aren’t allowed to wear them yet.

NAEye: What does your closet look like?

Mr. Funka: A bunch of plaid shirts hanging next to each other with a couple pairs of pants.

NAEye: What is your casual wear like?

Mr. Funka: Shorts and a t-shirt, and the sandals.

Mr. Funka’s happy feet modeling his trademark Tevas.

NAEye: If a student would want to achieve your level of fashion what would they have to do?

Mr. Funka: As little as possible… I’d think. I don’t try.

NAEye: What inspires your exquisite sense of fashion?

Mr. Funka: I have no idea. The sale rack at Eddie Bauer more than anything else I think. No one else buys the plaid shirts marked large tall so they are right there for the picking.

NAEye: Where do you get your fresh fade cut?

Mr. Funka: Great Clips, I think, because they have coupons and are willing to cut it really short so I don’t have to go more than once every 3 or 4 months.

NAEye: How long have you been sporting your signature style?

Mr. Funka: I think since high school. There are a couple shirts that go back to then. I wore more shorts than pants back then.

NAEye: How many pairs of sandals do you own.

Mr. Funka: I own three pairs of sandals. I wear two of them and I have one pair stored away for when one wears out.

NAEye:  How long does it take you to pick out your outfit every morning.

Mr. Funka: It takes me about two minutes. Everything is right there ready for me to pick.

NAEye: What’s one fun fact about you?

Mr. Funka: I own 14 watches but only own 4 pairs of pants.