Americanized: Coconut

Part of an ongoing series exploring issues of identity for students at NAI, this piece examines the popular term describing Indian-American students, "Coconut" Disclaimer: All of the stories in this series are personal experiences from first-generation immigrants and are written to express how the author perceives their situation.

October 24, 2019

The label “coconut” is typically used for 1st generation Indians — or really any ‘brown’ people — to showcase one’s home identity on the outside, while looking more culturally “white” on the inside.

It’s like a game of tug-of-war.

You’re in the middle and each side is a part of your ethnicity pulling you back and forth. One side is your heritage telling you not to forget your culture and roots, while the other is the society you are growing up in telling you to fit in with them. So which side wins?

Well, that’s the issue. One side can’t just win. You owe it to yourself to embrace both cultures. But if you lean too much towards one side or the other then phrases like “coconut” or “white-washed” or the classic “fresh off the boat” start to get thrown around.

If you aren’t a first-generation immigrant then you may be wondering what the big deal is. Well, let me put it into perspective: your parents traveled thousands of miles away from their home country to a completely new culture. They left their family and their whole life behind just so you could have the best possible future and a shot at the elusive ~American dream~

And because of all of this, the pressure to not let them down is always lingering in the back of your head.

Personally, for me, both of my parents are from southern India and emigrated here after they got married. I was born and raised in Pittsburgh. All throughout my early childhood, my cultural dissimilarity never seemed to be an issue. However, the closer I got to middle school, the more aware I became about how different my lifestyle was than that of the majority of my classmates’. As I started to bring more and more school friends home, parts of my house that never seemed to bother me all of a sudden became much more irking.

From the aromas of my mom’s cooking to the white noise of a random Indian movie playing in the background, everything felt like it was being judged. But it wasn’t.

This is when I started realizing that it’s all inside my head. All the anxiety I had built up over my differences was just an internal battle I started with myself and I was the only one that could settle it. This brought me to a personal realization: the word “balance” is actually really flexible to what I want to make it. However balanced or imbalanced want to live between my two cultures is up to me and no one can tell me otherwise.

Once I got to high school, it became much easier for me to express my “home” culture to my friends. I don’t give all the credit to my newfound mindset, even though I do feel like it made a difference. I also think it’s because my peers started to become more aware of different cultures and lifestyles around them. They seemed to become more open to learning about these different ideologies. However, even if the world around you isn’t opening-up to your culture, being able to express as much as you wish is a key part of finding the correct, personal balance.

I have finally come to understand my multicultural experience as a blessing in disguise. I was exposed to completely different ways of life and have learned to appreciate the world around me at such a young age. For that, I will forever be thankful.

Disclaimer: All of the stories in this series are personal experiences from first-generation immigrants and are written to express how the author perceives their situation.