Prism

I heard someone say gay people can’t do math

Now, this can’t be the case

Math has been my ally from the beginning

My parents introduced this idea 

To a third grader
That negatives and minus signs are one in the same

Despite being classified under two circumstances, 

They both find their way to the same results

Counting their way to the solution

Unable to count the reasons,

I decided I love math

I’m stubborn enough that it’s worked so far

Am I the only one that sees?

Like how minuses and fractions can have double meanings

One plus two equals infinity

Now, it might create three points 

But you forget the decimals

How in between one point and another, so many slights can live

Having definable features unlike others

Places to call home

Wait

No 

That would mean I identify between two-points

So,
A triangle

Maybe going ahead works

All the way to ninth grade now

Geometry class

The one I remember zoning out in the most

Scribbles and art pieces dancing along with the paper

Triangles were often there

Focus points and trying to find where they are

Angels-

No- angles, carving the way 

Showing what expanded and what was a little cute

Three sides of connections

Truly, my placement was between them all

Right?

No

It’s not 2 dimensional

It is much more raw

A starting point

And a dip in interest

Do not match this connection

A childhood might

Going back to kindergarten

I didn’t want to think about math 

So for a long time, I didn’t

Zoning out by choice rather than by habit

Those choices landed me at a teacher’s desk

I had to stay inside for recess

Third time in a row,

Going over the basics of shapes

Square, Circle, Cylinder

Figuring out the difference between 2-D and 3-D

I judged them on looks alone

I now understand it’s more complex than that

It’s forming connections that are closer or further away from the starting point

It’s the space between the points-

The feelings between the days

How they can seem to be identical

One on top of the other 

Without touching

This is how I identify

Not with a single point of “girl”

Nor with a transformation from one point to another 

Nor with a fluid sequence between girl, boy, or nonbinary

It is the identification from the triangle to its extra point

Creating another world of possibilities labeled “demi”

It’s a lack of connection to the other points

I am not racing around faster than the others 

Not having anything to worry about with identity

Like a plasma atom

I am not a plasma atom

Nor would I be a gas 

Zooming to be in a place with better pressure 

A place with proper containment

Another point

I am not a gas atom

I do not flow through this prism 

To fit the feeling

I am not a liquid

I am the solidity of the prism

The feeling of every side

Every ounce of volume these four planes have created

An all-consuming term in the most literal sense

Demi-pan

In gender and sexuality

So yeah, I can do math

It’s one of my best allies