How Are You???

While someone’s heart may be in the right place, positive affirmations are not always positive.


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Hey, how are you? Are you doing okay? No? What’s going on? Life can be stressful, I know exactly how you feel. Is it school? Is it home? Is it a mix between? It’s okay. Take it day by day, and things will get better. We’re all in this together!

No. No we’re not. Just because someone may be going through something you’ve had a previous experience with does not mean you are there for them. In fact, using terms like “we’re all in this together,” “I understand how you’re feeling, I get sad sometimes too,” “things will be better eventually,” and other ‘motivational’ quotes to attempt to lift one’s mood is actually doing quite the opposite. 

While most positive affirmations come from altruistic intentions, it is possible for one to “overdose on the sickeningly sweet nectar of platitudes such as ‘everything is awesome!’” Toxic positivity can be defined as the ineffective overuse of positive affirmations, which then makes one’s struggle appear less severe than it may be. 

Someone who suffers from mental health related issues may use certain affirmations to suppress their emotions. The use of phrases such as “I’m fine” and “I’ve been good,” can also be classified as toxic due to their intentions. While answering with “i’m fine” instead of revealing their true feelings may be easier for one to do, it’s also more dangerous long-term. 

If you ever happen to be approached by someone who may be struggling, refrain from using phrases such as “don’t worry, be happy,” “everything happens for a reason,” “if I can do it, so can you,” and try using the phrases, “please tell me what you’re thinking and feeling right now,” “I’m thinking about you,” and “how can I support you during this tough time?” 

Hey, how are you? Are you doing okay? No? You don’t have to tell me what’s on your mind if you’re not comfortable sharing, but please let me know if there is anything I can do for you during this time!