The Funion: Issue #1

Local NAI Student Breaks Down Into Tears After Getting An 89

Hanna Petrichevich
Taylor Rechenmacher (10) expresses her regret over such a disappointing performance

 

Today on the Funion, NAEye’s only good column, reports have come in of a sophomore sobbing uncontrollably after receiving their latest AP Human Geography test back after a long week of studying. Unfortunately, the student failed to surpass the threshold of a B and received an 89.48.

“I don’t know how I’m going to live with myself,” she laments through intense sniveling,  “My grade average was 100 percent before this.

Now I’ve got 99.99. I’m just one of the commoners now!”

In unrelated news, a student received a 75.50 on their AP HUG quiz.

According to our sources, the student resoundingly responded, “Hey. I passed. Cool.”

 

**Just in case it’s not already clear, this article is completely satirical**